Twentieth Post

I don't really have an intro paragraph.

What if I didn't strive for righteousness? It sounds ridiculous, but that's what God is. The attraction is in the absurdity. "Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:7-8) First off, "very rarely," secondly, "might possibly dare to die" for good, lovable people. But as absurdity would have it, Jesus willingly died for highly unlovable, unloving people.
Like I said, the attraction is in the absurdity; especially when I realize that, all facades aside, I am a highly unlovable and unloving person.

When I take righteousness into my own hands, I assume the role of Jesus. I steal from God his ability and power to change my life. That places me in the position of savior. It's a futile position, as guilty as I am.

I'm tired of trying to be good. I want to live life in all truth and reality. I want to stop worrying about my morality, and start living as if I'm alive. This is what God's grace does to me.